For those that know me know that the Ex and I called it quits almost 6 years ago. We were together for a bit over 9 years, we share so many memories and 2 beautiful children. The night I asked him to move out, if you would have asked me if I ever thought we'd be here, I would have told you, "not a snowballs chance". But no matter how much crap we went through while we were together I wasn't entirely prepared for what we've been through since our split. Yesterday I had a "Revelation" of sort. At some point during this past year, I've forgiven him and some how we've managed to get back the friendship we had before we had our relationship and in all honestly I'm not sure when this happened. We spent 2 hours on the phone yesterday just talking, no arguing, no pointing fingers, just talking about life, the kids, his health, everything.
Working in the legal profession I see couples every day that come in hating each other and want a divorce and those who has been divorced for years but still harbor those hard feelings and want to "Stick it to" the other parent every chance they get. We aren't at that point anymore. We've been through the "stick it to you" phase and what was really accomplished? Nothing. 2 hours of mediation and numerous court appearances for what . . . to be doing what I suggested we do for the benefit of the kids. Suck it up and be adults. Somewhere during this "sucking it up time" and a lengthly conversation to clear the air. We've become adults that is looking out for our children and their interest. No he doesnt visit every other weekend anymore but I'm not bitter about that either because Nathaniel needs his schedule maintained and Mark has taken up the "slack" Our kids are loved (sometimes from afar) and we are setting forth a good example and that makes it worth it.
His wife even invited us over to the new house . . . and to his birthday party Sunday, how often does that happen. . . Took almost 6 years but we can all be friends and parents. WOW, I'd have never thought. its kind of nice.
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It's been 7 years since my divorce was final. I don't hate my ex, but the reason we are divorced is evident in his actions. He has disappointed me beyond measure when it comes to our girls. I'm glad you and B and have found peace. It's so very important to the both of you and especially the kids!
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